Not Interested

I sold books door-to-door in college… 80 hours a week, for 12 weeks, for 5 summers. I knocked on roughly 15,000 doors. I’ve heard the phrase, “I’m not interested” at least 500 times. “I’m not interested” doesn’t really phase me.

But say “I’m not interested” to a man, and he looks at you like you have a third eye. Along with the “Why are you single?” question often comes the assumption that you should be interested in whatever said question-asker has to offer. They seem perplexed and offended that a woman may just not be interested in getting to know them. Gents, before you get your feelings hurt, understand that it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with you.




So before you ask for her number before you’ve even asked her name, and before you get offended by her response, here are 13 reasons she may not be interested:

1. I’m not interested in getting to know someone who I already know doesn’t share or respect my values. It’s a waste of time. And I’m not in the business of wasting time.

2. I’m not interested in a textationship. If you can’t pick up the phone and have a conversation, I don’t have time for you.

3. I’m not interested in pretending to be attracted to people I’m not attracted to. Don’t get me wrong, a great personality can make you look better and a terrible personality can make the most physically attractive person ugly. Call me vain, call me shallow, call me whatever you like, but if I spend more than a few days with you and your shining personality still hasn’t made you any cuter to me, I’m not interested in faking it.

4. I’m not interested in “hanging out” with a man who hasn’t offered to TAKE me out.




5. I’m not interested in giving my number to someone I’m going to have to politely decline later. Let’s just save ourselves the hassle now.

6. I’m not interested in someone who doesn’t live in my city. I did long distance. I was in college. It didn’t work. I grew up.

7. I’m not interested in taking care of someone who can’t even take care of himself, let alone me. I’m grown. I support myself. I expect that you do the same.

8. I’m not interested in listening to married men complain to me about their wives. I’m not your therapist. I know you “can’t talk to her the way you can talk to me”… That’s probably because you’re busy talking about her to other women.

9. I’m not interested in giving the green light to someone who’s been pursuing me, only to have him pump the brakes. Boy bye. If all you’re interested in is the chase, get a puppy. You can chase him around all day.

10. I’m not interested in wasting time with someone who wastes mine.

11.  I’m not interested in responding to texts asking me for pictures. I have an Instagram account with 900 photos for you to peruse at your heart’s desire. You’ll get pictures without even having to ask when I have decided I WANT to send them. STOP ASKING RESPECTABLE WOMEN FOR PICTURES!!!!!

12. I’m a strong woman. I want a stronger man. I’m not interested in mentally, spiritually, or emotionally weak men.

13.  I’m not interested in being your “friend” either. I have more than enough friends. I’m not interested in pretending to be “friends” with someone who’s not actually interested in being my friend.

We appreciate the effort. We really do. But when she says she’s not interested, get your panties out of your @$$ and keep it movin. Don’t insult her just because she’s not interested. If you do, your immaturity is precisely what she’s not interested in.

She’s been through it all. She’s tired of the Tom foolery. She’s made excuses for boys masquerading as men. She’s fought for men who didn’t fight for her. She’s given too many second chances to cowards and creeps. She’s compromised in constant efforts to give the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe she’s interested in someone who doesn’t act like the rest. Maybe she’s interested in someone who understands that a great woman is a man’s best asset. Maybe she’s interested in a man who has an attention span longer than a squirrel’s.

There are plenty of fish in the sea; thousands of other doors to knock on. Don’t take something so personal from someone who doesn’t know you personally.



Find me a man who loves God above all else, understands the value of communication, knows how to court a woman, is more interested in pursuing his career than chasing tail, understands the definition of loyalty, is a considerate not entirely selfish human being, has good credit, makes sound financial decisions, is a man of integrity, knows how to pick his battles, knows how to fight for what needs to be fought for, follows through on his word, has goals he’s actively pursuing, is ready for a partner, doesn’t have several children that are accompanied by unstable homicidal baby mamas, makes me feel special, and knows how to spell… THAT’S the guy I’m interested in. I still believe he exists…  Scratch that. Just find me the first part. The rest will fall into place.


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